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Sex as a Tool of Pursuit

Remember back to your first relationships: was one person the pursuer and the other the pursued? Especially when you were experimenting with what it meant to like and then love someone, there can be imbalance in the relationship—one person is more invested in pulling the other close. This imbalance creates the experience of insecurity for the pursuer. And amid this insecurity, instead of participating equally in the creation of a relationship, one person may use the tools at their disposal in the attempt to engage their partner in emotional reciprocity.

Sex can be one of these tools.

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Does Relationship Insecurity Create Passion?

Young or old, gay or straight, for many people there’s nothing like making yourself believe your partner is on the prowl to give your relationship a little kick. Would he betray you? Is she flirting? Do you think your partner is cheating? Do you accuse him or her of these things? Maybe you have reasons to be nervous, but here’s another explanation: many of us, for a multitude of reasons, subconsciously and/or consciously create feelings of insecurity in our relationships as a way to get back the passion we once felt.

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